How do I help my 52-year-old father realize his behavior is destroying our family?

I'm 22M. My father is hardworking and genuinely loves me and my younger sister. He has sacrificed a lot for our future, so I don't think he's a bad person.

But he's extremely egoistic, expects a lot from others, doesn't easily admit when he's wrong, and has held resentment toward my mother's family for many years.

My maternal family has also treated us badly at times, so I understand why he's angry. But I feel his anger has gone too far. He often expects them to call, visit or help us, while at the same time he ignores their calls, doesn't repay some money he owes, speaks badly about them, and doesn't want my mother to maintain contact with them. Then he gets angry when they distance themselves.

Recently, after another argument about my mother's family, he kicked/hit my mother and said the family is finished and he doesn't want to see her anymore. He has also talked about going to her village and creating a confrontation.

My mother is willing to cooperate and wants to work things out. We've suggested they stay separately for a few months, and she is considering going to a meditation camp during that time.

I want to help my father understand that whatever my mother's family has done, physically hurting Mom is wrong. I also want him to realize that his own behavior has contributed to the breakdown of these relationships.

He is 52, and I'm wondering whether someone with decades of these habits can genuinely change.