Recently diagnosed but I don’t feel validated

All my life I’ve been told I’m careless, I’m lazy, I just need to focus up, and im stupid. I always felt I was a little different than others ever since I was a kid. I exhibited a lot of hallmarks of that classic hyperactive, disruptive child. The older I got, I guess the pressure was on, so I became more reserved I suppose. During all my academic life, I’ve never felt accomplished, just relieved. When I was finally 18, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I later reached out when I was 22 to get medicated for that, but being on 100mg of Zoloft for a good few months, I still felt off. I always felt that I cared about things, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, and if I had to do something, I would need anxiety/fear most of the time to motivate me to do things. Well honestly 18-23, I have been struggling a lot with college, un medicated, and I still haven’t graduated. I have gotten good grade in the past, but for some reason, I just don’t understand how?… like how did I do that? But why am I asking stupid questions to myself, “how did I do it?” Like what do I mean???I genuinely have no idea how, but I feel a lot of it was from the fear of failing. Like just pure fear and anxiety. I recently got an ADHD diagnosis from a psychiatrist , but it wasn’t a full screening or anything. The psychiatrist just based my diagnosis from my own words. I would most get a full screening and scans and all that fancy stuff, but I do not have the money for that right now. And I feel something is wrong with me and I have to fix it now. And so now I have been prescribed 5 mg Ritalin, 2 pills a day, and I’m not sure but I don’t feel like I feel any different? And idk I also just feel kind of invalidated by my diagnosis. I really thought 200 dollars per appointment was going to get me much more than my psychiatrist just asking me simple ADHD questions I could find online. But I have been taking the medication and I feel normal??, but isnt that the point…I don’t know if it’s placebo, or this Ritalin really just made me clean my room for once, helped me organize my thoughts of what tasks were more urgent than others at work??? And to be honest, I haven’t tried the medication in an academic setting, because I’m still on break. I’m just heavily overthinking. Idk anyone else kinda has similar experiences?… idk if I’m looking for advice or sympathy, but I just can’t make out what is going on right now.