Ladies…consider this your reminder to run the background!!!

I recently had an M&G with a seemingly attractive 42-year-old doctor. He was hot. I’m hot. The expectations aligned. The banter was good. He was a little goofy and had mentioned beforehand that he was somewhere on the spectrum, but overall, I genuinely enjoyed meeting him.

He asked to take me somewhere nice for a proper date, and I left thinking, Okayyy, Dr. McDreamy might have potential.

Now, I don’t spill all the sugar tea with my best friend.. I tell her enough to keep me safe. So I told her I had met a handsome doctor at work, when I actually met him on Seeking.

Unfortunately for him, my best friend treats casual gossip like an open homicide investigation.
Within no time, Detective Bestie found a recent mugshot and an arrest record involving an allegation that he had choked the mother of his child. The case was from earlier this year.

Seeing the mugshot.. and the nature of the allegation.. made every alarm in my body start screaming. My stomach is still in knots.

Needless to say, there will be no proper date. Dr. McDreamy has been discharged from my roster.
An arrest isn’t the same as a conviction, and none of us should pretend to know every detail of a case from an online search. But we also don’t owe a stranger access to us while we investigate whether a frightening allegation is true.

When violence, especially alleged strangulation, is part of the picture, I’m choosing caution every single time.

So, ladies:
Search his full name, phone number, workplace, and any available public court records.

Verify that his job and identity match what he told you.

Tell someone where you’ll be and share whatever identifying information you have.

Meet publicly, control your own transportation, and don’t reveal your home address.

Don’t let good looks, an impressive title, or an expensive dinner talk you out of listening to your instincts.

If something serious appears, don’t confront him alone. Disengage, block, and preserve any messages if needed.

Being hot together is not a safety plan. Chemistry is not a background check. And apparently, every woman needs at least one best friend with a passion for online investigations.

Do your homework. Stay alert. Stay safe.