he made me feel seen seen after being invisible for so long

he texted me less and spent more time with his friends, while he was with me he wanted time alone but wanted physical touch, i knew he was falling out of love with me and I began to accept it as truth and tried to stop pouring my love onto him to preserve myself

he told me at the end that he did not want to break up with me because he was scared I would destroy myself

on our last break after trying to fix our relationship for the 4th or 5th time I told him we should just stay exclusive but no longer committal for long term, and end things when we grew sick of each other, which was a horrible idea but it was the last ditch effort to keep his presence around. We tried it, it very evidently didnt work, but he said he would never get sick of me

my first relationship and I poured everything I had with my identity along with it and now I cant sleep wanting just to hold him

i hate that I am autistic, I cannot trust people, and the one person I trusted with everything in me is gone