I dont think that nothingness after death is that bad?

if anything i find it beautiful and peaceful… theres no want, need and will, no thoughts and conciousness, no pain, sorrow and depression, no happiness or joyness etc so whats so bad about it? i’ve lived a life so exhausted, tired and unfair and dealing with bipolar make it more bad than it already is.. yet i still find pieces of things in this life that makes me happy which makes it worth it!

i asked my brother (is a believer but not religious) about it and he asked me why would i want to believe that after i die theres only nothingness i debate him back by asking him: why would u want to die and still dream of heaven and if ur in heaven why would u want to live eternally wanting to eat, sex and have fun in general? u can have that in your present life? sure theres obstacles but why does it matter anyway?

idk i think the fear of nothingness after death is weird to me because i find it so peaceful and it makes living more bearable too LOL but what are you guys thoughts?