Newbie

Hey! So im sorry if I sound like a complete idiot. But I need opinions. So im 36 ive only ever tried a CBD gummy once. About 3 or 4 years ago. I wanted to see if trying CBD would help my depression. My husbands buddy said he could get me a gummy from Michigan. His buddy told him to only give me a small peice from a nerds rope. Well my husband didnt really understand small because he gave me half of it. Anyways I had the worst frist trip of my life. I literally watched my entire family die one by one. Everytime i open and closed my eyes it was a different family member dying. So that for me was a big nope. So fast forward to recently a friend of mine posted about microdosing mushrooms. I thought about it..and I feel like why not try it. I asked her about it and she said it helps her depression so much. Everytime i see her..she is just very happy and full of life and energy. I have no energy..no life..i meaning im just so depressed all the time..everyday I just think about how I dont want to be here..but i have kids that depend on me.. i want more fun in my life..being happy and idk..im just bored i guess. So I went into the local smokeshop..and they had these 2 pack of mushroom gummies samples. My friend gave me the link to try the capsules but I just didnt want to spend the money if I ended up not liking them or whatever the case is and have a bunch left over.. so I ended up getting the 2 pack to try. Which I understand is a lotttttt more stronger then actual microdosing. The guy at the store told me to take a small bite of it and not half or all. He said start small. When I told my husband he said I should have just bought from the link my friend sent me. We really didn't have the extra money anyways so I just felt like why waste the money if I end up not liking it.. idk but do you guys think that just taking a small bite is ok..for a first timer? Or should I just wait till I have the extra 60 bucks to get the capsules to microdose? Please be kind.. i really have no clue as this is all new.. i grew up with a family that only drank alcohol.. so I was never around people that experimented in other things.. growing up my friends only either drank or smoked weed.. and with having kids very young I always stayed away from everything but since my kids are older now I feel like i can experiment a little.