Need suggestions.

Hey everyone. I am a 18M here who is depressed since like a decade. I wanted to die at 13 and had a plan but I didn't have the courage back then. Now I have dealt with enough. For a decade or more I have been troubled.

I wanted help but no one beleives in mental health and they think that I should just get better. I wanted help and I wanted to love so bad... I still do to some extent. But if I dont get better there is no point in living like this.

So my ask is. Which method will be less painful or cheaper or even cleaner to do the job ?