(TW) competitive EDs in lesbian relationships

has anyone else noticed that in lesbian relationships, and in my experience it’s mostly fem for fem relationships, where partners have competitive EDs? I’ve had a lot of relationships where my partners notice me restrict my eating whether it’s a result of my mental health or something else. and they feel a weird urge to compete with me in that way. I don’t have an eating disorder but I have super bad BDD and seeing them think of my body in that way is also such a mind fuck. I can’t imagine how bad it is for girls that both have EDs. do yall have any tips on navigating this or avoiding it from happening again? It’s happened a few times and im unsure if there’s something im overlooking.