Realizing a deep flaw in myself as a first year teacher

I was finally able to land a full time middle school ELA position at a great school, with dream-level supportive admin/coworkers. We are a couple days into the new school year and I am coming into a lot of friction with student behavior. Nothing as bad previous sites and districts that I’ve worked at thankfully…but I’ve noticed that students just straight up don‘t take me seriously. As if I was wall decoration. When I lay out or rehearse expectations, give instruction, calls to attention, students will look at me and then just continue as they have been. Bringing this up to a veteran teacher in my building, he sounded surprised because the kids are near adult-like in his and other classes. They are great kids! I can see their potential, every teacher talks highly of every student…just not in my class it seems.

As I was reflecting on this and thinking about an off-handed comment from admin. I realized the problem is entirely how I have presented myself!! I thought before I was having difficulty in other school sites because I was working as a longterm sub or an aid/co-teacher and students didn’t treat me as their “real” teacher. I’m realizing now that I haven’t been presenting myself as a professional to kids. I feel incredibly embarrassed thinking about how I probably appear from the outside looking in. Just childish, unprofessional, and weird.

I have a naturally friendly, talkative, open, casual easygoing personality. This shows in the way I speak, dress, and respond to students. These are traits I’ve always felt proud of and have gotten me this far in life…but it’s actually been crippling my work as a teacher. I don’t believe in students liking me (which they do anyway) or “being their friend”, but I realize I’ve been coming across as a big sister or summer camp counselor instead of a teacher.

On top of feeling a bit embarrassed, I’m having a bit of an identity crisis in a way. I’m struggling to start building a professional face or teacher “persona” and a small part of me is mourning the fact that I even have to.

Any advice, reassurance, stories is greatly appreciated.