I [31F] got jealous about my fiancee [35M] going to a Leafs game without me, now he says he wont go.

I just want to say that I know getting jealous was not mature of me, and I own that. I'm 3 months PP with our first child together. He has an 8 year old from a previous relationship that we raise together basically full time. Baby is very colicky lately, my sleep is so screwed up because he's been back to work for a month now so I'm waking up with the baby, pumping my milk, etc. I don't have a lot of family support, and that has really affected me. I've felt really let down by my side of the family. I also just get really emotional sometimes about my parents not being around for my kids.

Anyway! He told me that he had the opportunity to go to a Maple Leafs game with a friend and his dad.
I was excited but also saying, I wanna go too! We are both huge Leafs fans and tickets are really expensive so we've never been together in our 6 year relationship. There wasn't much else to that conversation, but he then told me yesterday that the Leafs game is a go and they are going in November.
I guess I was just bummed I couldn't go, and I know his friend isn't my friend, so | get it, logically. It's just after having a baby I feel like I've lost myself, my hobbies, my job, my friends. I love being a mom to both boys and they are my whole world, but lately I'm drowning. I feel like my partner still has his job where he gets socialization, he has a hobby he does every week, he plays a little bit of video games here and there, and now he is doing something we've wanted to do together, all without me. So I'll admit I was standoffish that afternoon. I was just cold with him I think. But he also wasn't communicating with me either, he was just quietly sensing my vibe and getting upset with me for it. He said he already told his friend he's not going, since I don't want him to go. I told him that I never said I didn't want him to go! The argument ensued from there. I tried today to apologize for being upset, that even though I'm happy for him to go, my other emotions outweighed it. I told him I want him to go, that I never wanted to make him feel like he needed to cancel. I think he just doesn't understand my feelings and doesn't want to validate them, because he doesn't want to feel blame maybe? Even though I'm not blaming him! I told him I feel guilty leaving the baby with anyone, even him, for longer than like 20 mins because he starts to get incredibly fussy with other people and then it's a full blown cry fest that is incredibly hard to calm down. One time I did take a longer shower and he looked irritated with me when I came downstairs. So I take quick showers, I try to nap upstairs but I just hear him cry and can't take it.
I know my feeling responsible to calm and soothe the baby is a me problem, it's just hard! He says that has nothing to do with the game and I can do whatever I want. I'm just feeling so unseen right now. As I'm writing this, I know it isn't even about the game. I just don't want him to not go and then resent me for it. How do I fix it: (

TLDR Feeling burnt out as a new mom, and I didn't react well to hearing about my Fiancee going to a Leafs game without me. Now he says he won't go, and now I'm feeling bad and unheard.