4wpo and freaking out

I've been having a bit of a freak out the past couple of days. I'm 4 wpo for TLH, everything gone except ovaries. I'm 47 and have been in horrific perimenopause for about 6 years and am on HTT. Despite the horrific description, the past 6 months, I've been feeling like the mental mindfuck of perimenopause has been leveling off.

I've have had a very smooth and uneventful recovery so far, pain for the most part has been minimal after the first week. I had a 2 wpo check and all good, cleared to do IMHO too much, but I'm still taking it sorta way. I've been walking daily, including going clothes shopping, cleaning my apartment and watering plants every Saturday, but I've been rigorous about not lifting anything heavy, my husband does all that. I've been confident in my recovery.

But the past few days or maybe past week, I've been getting odd aches and light pain in my abdomen that comes and goes. When it happens, I scale back and rest, trying to listen to my body. My laproscopic surgery included 3 incisions and my uterus was brought out of my belly button. Lately I've been getting discomfort above my belly button, several inches above it, almost to the bottom of my ribs. For a day or two, if felt like a small lump and my husband felt it too, though you can't see it. But then it went away.

My mind went to potential hernia, but again it went away. I anticipated lumps close to the incisions, especially around the belly button since it was a rainbow bruising the first week, that obviously had an instrument moving around more than the side incisions. (I've had several melanoma wide local excisions in the past and they also formed lumpy scar tissue for the first couple months and then flattened out - I figure this could be the same). *I have zero spotting or bleeding last the first 3-4 days and no fever.*

I've read that random aches and even minor pains in the abdomen are normal. Logically, I'm telling myself that this could be normal.

But I find myself freaking out..I'm terrified of developing a hernia and needing more surgery to poke it back in. I don't want mesh in my body; both my parents have had multiple hernias and have smooth surgeries and recoveries, though over time the meshes started to bother them. They were both much older than me when they got their hernias.

But emotionally I'm scared and terrified, more than pre-op, more than when they wheeled me into tht OR. I don't know what's going on with me mentally, emotionally. I'm fine in the morning, but this comes up mostly at night, like a wild version of sundowners. I frequently find myself on the verge of tears. I've always been a catastrophizer but was shocked I didn't catastrophize pre-op or even in the first weeks of recovery. But now, I can't concentrate (I'm also ADHD if that says anything).

Why am I doing this, freaking out?! Has this happened to anyone else,. especially when your 4+ weeks our and every has been going smooth?

I want to stick my head in the sand until 6 months have passed. Any advice or words of encouragement would be helpful.