I feel nauseous most of the time

the break up happened 3 months ago and I feel like I could throw up almost all the time. its like the ground has literally been swept from beneath my feet and nothing makes sense anymore. it sounds so cliche but it truly feels this way.

I have no idea how I’ll ever let myself fall for someone like this ever again.

I can’t trust that it will ever work out for the best. I’m in my 30s and this guy was THE kindest guy you could ask for and yet he still managed to let me down and break my heart badly by behaving like shit whilst all I’ve done is be healthy and kind and grounded with him. I’m worried I will never ever be able to trust anyone ever again. and it’s paradoxical because this guy is the guy that made me believe in love and kindness for the first time since I was a dreamy teen in the first place...

I’m scared i won’t recover from this, but I want to, I want to be in love, I want to be happy. I deserve it. yet reality always hits