Got anxious and panic attack again

I fear that I will never become financially stable as a teacher or find a partner. At 31, my net worth is barely ₹3 lakh, and my salary is below ₹50,000. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m so scared of marriage ending in divorce or involving infidelity. I’m also scared of having a job that takes away my peace while paying so little. At the same time, I’m scared of becoming a housewife because I know I can’t be one.

Looks-wise, I consider myself below average, but I come from a decent family, so I feel like I can’t lower my standards. Otherwise, everyone will blame and criticize my mother, especially because she was a widow, and my paternal relatives will give her a hard time for marrying me “below my standards.”

I also feel that I’m difficult because I was raised with relatively fewer responsibilities and hardships. A lot of things don’t come naturally to me, and I don’t know how much I can adjust unless I’m deeply in love with someone. But falling deeply in love is difficult for me because I’m avoidant and have ADHD. I either hyperfixate on someone or don’t care at all.