Hatred

The hatred i bare towards myself is unbearable.

For the past 6 years, six long years ive hated myself from the second i woke up till the second slept. I get my highs every now and again, but they never amount to anything.

I hate myself, so so much.

Its unbearable.

I want to just dig my own grave and never get out.

What ive been doing has just been making me worse, but i cant stop.

I want to stop.

I want to cry but i cant let anyone suspect that im going through anything.

Im just tired of everything.

I want to let go, my hatred for myself sometimes gets to me, and its made me think of hundreds of ways to end it, but i cant.

I just despise the fact that i cant stop or commit to ending it.

Im a disappointment.

I just want to die.

Even though i know im not supposed to want that, but i still do.