Random toughts

To be real, nothing feels real, everything is just a distraction of how cruel and unstable this world is. People kindness is rarely real, now even helping others became a way to build ones personality not to truly help someone. Genocides, deaths, making fun of others became normalised like its a common thing wchich in fact turned empathetic reactions that were supposed to be felt. Making a laugh over someones tragedy became normal, making fun of someone to ragebait him is not bullying becouse its just ragebaiting, its for fun! Changing the name of horrible act and normalising it became part of the everyday life . How to live in a world that noting is no longer genuine? How to even watch movie when its all about sharing a propaganda that director belives in. Its always a quiet way to control. Its the easiest to control someone when one doesnt even know he is being cotrolled. So when one wakes up, he cant fall asleep again. Even so i feel stil connected to this cruel world, i still watch films, fall for unhealthy food, instagram trends sometimes. How cruel is this isnt it? To cut connection with the outer world just seems like going the path that no one goes, everything becomes so shallow and grey that it scares me away. To cut the connection with the world is to walk a route alone. I dont wanna be alone, i want to coexist with others, i cant stand being alone. I cant walk alone, it feels like death, the death of the happy miserable youth that is not even real, it just feels impossible to live outside of this fake shell, to escape it. cuz at the end... I dont want to die.