i feel so old and like my life is pointless

I'm 23 but I feel 17. Still live with my parents, no job, no social life, stuck at home 24/7. No education even. I've been a NEET for the past 7 years. This is exactly the fate I wanted to avoid. Even 4 years ago, I know if I didn't work hard and try to get an education, I'd end up like this. This is why I've given up. Because I feel like it's pointless to try at anything when I've missed out on so much already. Never had abboyfriend or been kissed, never even been in a relationship. If I start college next year, I'll finish in my late 20s. I've wasted so much of my life maladaptive daydreaming and now here I am. Nothing helps anymore and I'm so depressed about everything. I've considered not even going to college and just living off my parents for the rest of my life.

I always wanted to get away from my abusive family and yet I'm still stuck living with them and having to depend on them financially. I hate the country I'm in but my passport makes it hard for me to immigrate anywhere, so I'm stuck here. Everyday I wish I was born somewhere else in the world. When I do start college, if I go abroad, i will be alone in a foreign country and older than everyone. It will be so horrible and everyone will judge me for my age. If you asked me at 16 where I would be in life right now, I'd never imagine it would be this bad.

I'm so lonely and I've wasted my entire life and I don't see a point in trying anymore. Other girls seem to find someone to be with so I don't understand what's so wrong with me. I'm really not doing this for attention and I genuinely want to give up in life. I'm behind by every single metric. It's not even about comparing myself to other people, it's about where I wanted to be at this point in my life. It's NOT here

I know 23 is technically "young" but it's also not. This is the age people start expecting you to have your shit together. And this is the age where people achieve more. Even if I do end up doing amazing stuff and reaching all my goals later in life, it won't matt3r anyway because everyone else got there before me probably. People of my background don't have chances to fuck up like rich people. I'm already broke so it's unlikely I'll make it out of this whole for the rest of my life. Everyday I wish I was 18 or even 21 again.