I [F24] thought cucking my boyfriend [M37] would remain a sexual fantasy. Now I’m hiding how often I see my bull [M34]

I’ve been reading posts here for a while, so I figured I would finally explain how I ended up in this situation and where things currently stand.

My boyfriend and I have a good relationship. I genuinely love him, we live together, and he’s the person who feels like home to me. I love cuddling with him, watching things together and having someone who knows me that well.

Our sex life wasn’t terrible either. He’s around 7.5 inches, so this didn’t begin because he was unusually small or completely incapable of satisfying me. I was still curious about being with someone significantly bigger, though. We’re both sexually adventurous, so we were open to trying new things together, including what was supposed to be a short-term cuckolding dynamic.

Eventually, we met someone who is around 10 inches and has now become my regular bull. We’ve done things with all three of us twice, but nearly every other time has been just me and my bull.

At first, it was mainly about the size difference and exploring the fantasy. My boyfriend was actively involved and knew when I was seeing him. I enjoyed coming home and telling him what happened. I liked seeing him get turned on and jealous, especially when I compared them or reminded him that my bull could give me something physically much more intense. He’s the only man who has ever made me squirt from penetration alone.

I honestly expected it to remain purely sexual. I thought I would see my bull occasionally, have my fun and then go home to my normal relationship.

Instead, quick visits gradually became longer visits... and then visits my boyfriend didn’t know about. We also started going on actual dates. I liked having one consistent person instead of constantly looking for someone new. The more comfortable we became with each other, the better the sex got. Eventually, we even started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend when we went out. It felt exciting and extra naughty.

At the same time, my boyfriend and I started experimenting more seriously with chastity. I picked out a pink cage for him, but initially I could only keep him locked for two or three days. Seeing him in it actually made me want to play with him more, so I usually ended up taking it off earlier than planned lol. I still enjoyed having sex with him too.

Recently, I started talking to another woman who has been doing this much longer than I have. She suggested gradually increasing the time and being more consistent instead of deciding everything when I was already turned on. I eventually kept him locked for a full week.

When I unlocked him afterward, he didn’t just look smaller. We measured him fully erect, the same way we had before, and that day he measured almost an inch shorter. I know people are going to say that can’t happen in one week, but the measurement was genuinely different.

When I finally let him have sex with me, he came in around two minutes. I felt bad because I could tell he was embarrassed, but another part of me liked how needy he had become. That was probably when I realized I wasn’t only using the cage because it fit the fantasy. I actually liked seeing him desperate for me and knowing that a small amount of sexual attention suddenly meant so much to him. I was surprised by how much I liked what it was doing to our dynamic.

The other part I haven’t really wanted to admit is that my boyfriend doesn’t know how often I actually see my bull.

He knows about him and knows about some of our dates, visits and overnights, but he thinks it happens far less frequently than it really does. I’m currently seeing my bull around four to six times a week. That sounds like a lot, but they aren’t all full dates. Most of the time, it’s only a short visit.

I’ve hidden most of those visits from my boyfriend.

And if I’m being completely honest, him not knowing made it hotter. It felt like I had this separate part of my life that belonged only to me and my bull. At first, I told myself the secrecy was just another extension of the cuckolding fantasy, but there’s obviously a difference between pretending to sneak around as part of a scene and actually withholding things from my boyfriend.

Recently, I offered my boyfriend a deal. Normally, after being locked and behaving well, he would get a handjob. I told him that if he stayed locked for one additional day and agreed to let me have another overnight with my bull, I would come home, unlock him and have sex with him instead.

He got quiet and thought about it. I could tell he had mixed feelings, but eventually he said yes.

That overnight felt different from our normal visits. My bull made it more romantic. We went on a proper date, talked for hours and spent the night together without me constantly checking the time. I wasn’t trying to squeeze everything into a short visit or worrying about when I needed to leave. I could just relax and enjoy being with him.

We stayed in bed talking afterward, and he held me for a long time. We’ve said “I love you” during sex before, but this time it didn’t feel like something we were only saying because we were caught up in the moment. He said it back so naturally that it stayed with me after I left. The way he looked at me when I was going home made me feel like he would have preferred that I stayed.

When I got home the next morning, I unlocked my boyfriend and kept my promise. We had sex (with a condom) and afterward we cuddled and spent the day together. I was genuinely happy to be home with him, but I was also still thinking about the night before.

That’s what has made this confusing.

My best friend knows about my bull and has remained supportive even after learning how frequently I see him and that it has become more than sex. Having someone else know made everything feel more real. It also made it easier for me to continue without fully confronting what was happening.

My boyfriend still feels safe, familiar and loving. I enjoy our quiet life together and having someone waiting for me at home. But our relationship is gradually becoming less sexual, while my relationship with my bull is becoming both more sexual and more emotionally involved.

I assumed the excitement with my bull would fade once he stopped feeling new, but the opposite has happened. The more we connect outside of sex, the better the sex becomes. I think about him when we aren’t together, look forward to our dates and usually want to see him again almost immediately after leaving.

Meanwhile, I’ve realized that I like my boyfriend being affectionate and needy more than I like having sex with him. I like how much he values the attention I give him, and I like knowing I can come home after being with someone else and still curl up beside him.

It feels like the two relationships have gradually taken on completely different roles. My boyfriend feels like home, while my bull gives me the sexual intensity and romantic excitement I’ve started craving. I didn’t deliberately decide to separate them that way. It happened slowly enough that I didn’t recognize it until recently.

I still love my boyfriend and don’t currently want to leave him. But I can’t pretend my connection with my bull is purely physical anymore, and I can’t pretend the secrecy isn’t part of what excites me. Something has changed, and I’m not completely sure where it’s going.

Has anyone else reached this point with a regular bull? Did the emotional connection improve your dynamic, or was it the point where things became impossible to keep separate?