Should I (F22) breakup with my boyfriend (M20) because of a difference in affection?

Hi, I’ve never done something like this before but I’m truly in search for some advice. I feel awkward talking to anyone I know about this situation because I don’t like the mention my relationship problems, I like to keep them between us. Before I get into the pointers, this is what I ask: Should I stay with my boyfriend?

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. For context, my boyfriend is at a military academy and I went to a college an hour away from the campus. Currently, I graduated in May and now live 2 hours away from campus while he finishes out his last two years there.

We met on Tinder and Hinge funny enough, and two weeks after our first date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was ecstatic at this, since we really hit it off and got along well. He’s super handsome, smart, funny, kind, the whole package. Although I felt ready, I also had broken up with my long-term ex bf just 6 months prior (i was already pretty checked out of that relationship but it still was painful).

The first few months of the relationship were like any other, the honeymoon phase was all sunshine and rainbows. He already felt so strongly about me, he already drunkenly and soberly talked about wanting to marry me and how I’m the one. I do think that about him too, he’s everything I could ever want in a man. However, the last nine months have definitely been a struggle.

I have ROCD (relationship obsessive compulsive disorder) and tend to overthink many things in my relationships. Mainly short responses and lengths of time in between messages are my main triggers but I am also not psycho, I am able to cope and not have a panic attack over it. I understand he has a separate busy life that I’m going to have to get used to. However, he tends to be a very try texter. I feel like mainly whenever we talk, I’m the one asking questions, I’m the one being upbeat and he’s the one just responding. I try to be lighthearted and send random thoughts or images and he doesnt fully understand but responds blandly. He doesnt do anything of the sort back. The most interest I feel on his end in text or facetime is “how was your day?”. He doesnt ask about the little things, he doesnt ask random personality questions, and he’s much quieter than I am.

However, I don’t want to make him sound awful, he doesnt nice things for me like whenever he is in training, he’ll always schedule a flower delivery to me with a personal letter, has written me letters in the field, has made lots of time for me on the weekends, constantly talks about me to anyone he comes into contact with (they know he’s obsessed with me), etc. He’s a great guy and an even better boyfriend, I just feel so frustrated with the situation. We’ve had a conversation about this not too long ago and he said he would be more present, I just don’t feel a shift in his personality. I know the change won’t be overnight, nor will it be night and day, but I just don’t feel like he actually applied what we talked about to the relationship dynamic moving forward. I feel like he lets me do all the heavy lifting emotionally and that’s not fair to me. What should I do? What should I say to him to start this conversation on a good note? How do I handle a situation like this?