I realized all of my issues as an adult stem from CPTSD

There’s this guy on YouTube called Stefan molyneux who can come across as a bit pompous / arrogant / prejudiced, but aside from all that noise his one main argument for everything is that early childhood trauma is the cause of most of the worlds problems.

The older I get and the further I distance myself from my narc parents, the more this rings true.

All of the problems I’ve faced as an adult; anxiety, lack of self confidence, ego, anger, guilt, etc. can all be directly traced back to how I was raised, and what I experienced daily as a child.

For example, my desire for confrontation comes from being in constant mental and physical altercations as a child. My brain wants to re expose me to those situations so I can “win”, since it was impossible for me to win as a kid.

Same for other things like lack of confidence; I could never say what I wanted or have things my way. My own personal preferences were completely ignored or mocked.

It’s all crystal clear once you really put aside your ego and analyze the situation. I used to try and drown this out with alcohol and drugs, but the longer i remain sober the more clear this gets. Healing just takes an extremely long time, I’m not sure I’ll ever be totally normal.