Coming back ?

I was pretty deep in rabbithole I fucked myself by dildo everyday I watched captions everyday sucked dildo eveyday and did tasks from faproulette even went put dressed once also wore panties with buttplug in public often but I stopped long time ago but now when I see some captions by accident I always have the urge that tells me to come back that I have to fight

I dont know if I should fight it or just for one night come back and if I come back if I should start where I stopped or if I should start again from begging