Relationship Years After Losing A Boyfriend

*trigger warning*
In 2019, I (30F) lost my boyfriend of 2.5 years to an accidental fentanyl overdose. At the time, when I was 24, he was, what felt like, my soulmate.

We lived together, worked together - I had no idea of his addiction, although I knew he used pills in his past. He died while I was sleeping in the other room, and I found him that morning on the floor.

A very traumatic experience to say the least, but I’ve grown from the situation, while still realizing there are parts of me that might still be healing, although I feel like sometimes I’m dissociating without realizing it in day to day activity.

Since then, I’ve found an amazing partner (3 years) who I am now engaged to.

I’m just wondering: what are some changes in yourself that you noticed from losing a partner in a traumatic way? Or just give any feedback of feelings.