Respect General Tarquin (Order of the Stick)

##"That's the beauty of it all, my son. If I win, I get to be a king. If I lose, I get to be a legend."

#General Tarquin

General Tarquin is the secret ruler of most of the Western Continent, and also the father of both Elan and Nale. Realizing that heroic stories always had evil empires to thwart, he decided to take up the niche of evil emperor. After his first attempt united all other nations of the Western Continent against him, he and his party decided they would play the role of advisors to puppet nations, allowing them to rule without painting targets on their backs. He is a man who puts incredible importance of stories and their genre conventions, and while he can be quite friendly, anything that goes against his ideal story (such as Elan becoming the hero to thwart him) can cause him to become violent and and even more dangerous.

Note: Feats are marked by what page they occur on

Scaling

• Roy

• Elan

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Equipment

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Daggers

• At least one of his daggers had maximal efficiancy enhancements and can psionically shift its mass during a strike to increase force. However the Order of the Stick stole it from him^960

• Hits Nale with a thrown dagger^820

• Dodges slashes from Elan and easily deflects all of his strikes using a dagger before disarming him^761

• Kills Nale with a stab^913

• Cuts Scoundrel's flying carpet in a fight^933

• Stabs Haley and slices apart Elan's rapier^934

Other Weapons

• Fights with an axe^850

  • Hits Belkar away with an axe throw^862

• Has a whip^863

  • Grabs Vaarsuvius by the neck, and swings him around into a vampire^929

Armor

• His armor is enchanted to allow him to change its appearance at will^849

• His armor is magically protected against fire, leaving him unharmed by Malack's flame strike^853

Rings

• Has a ring of regeneration and a few duplicates^762

• Has a ring of true seeing that lets him see an invisible Nale^819 which also let him know an elf ambassador was actually a drow in disguise^820

  • Allows him to identify illusions^856

Transport

• Has multiple flying carpets^817 and the one given to the Order of the Stick has a tracking rune on it^822

• Has a pet pterodactyl he rides on^847 he can call with a whistle^863

• Also has a triceratops^910 which stabs an Allosaurus with its horns^926

Misc

• Has a special healing ointment he uses to get Nale back on his feet^863

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Strength

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• Clashes with giant's strength Roy and launches and staggers him with a strike^851

• Blocks a strike from Durkon and staggers him with an axe strike to the face^861

• Stabs through Elan into Roy using Roy's sword^929

• Blocks a strike from Scoundrel^931

• Knocks Haley over a ledge^722

• Holds on to an airship during crazy maneuvers^935

• Breaks Haley's arm^934

• Clashes swords with Nale^725

• Punts Belkar into the air^929

• Hurts Roy with an axe strike^850

• Stabs Belkar with an arrow, resists Durkon's hold person, and then rapidly spins him around before throwing him^851

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Speed

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• Dodges Roy and trips him, catches an arrow from close range, and stabs Belkar in midair with it^851

• Runs forward and catches an arrow^858

• Catches two arrows from a rapid barrage^925

• Catches Haley's arrows, reacting when they're inches from his face^936

• Dodges a shot from a massive crossbow^933

• Dodges multiple slashes from Belkar^853

• Cuts Scoundrel's flying carpet in a fight^933

• Catches Haley by surprise^722

• Dodges multiple sword slashes^756

• Dodges slashes from Elan and easily deflects all of his strikes using a dagger before disarming him^761

• Leaps off a pterodactyl and hits Roy with an axe strike^850

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Durability/Endurance

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• Takes a sword slash to the face^757

• Impaled by Roy and Belkar and hit by multiple of Haley's arrows^851

• Stabbed in the back by Haley^853

• Hit by Vaarsuvius's prismatic spray^927

• Unaffected by a blast of psychic energy from Laurin^928

• Hit by Scoundrel slamming into him^931

• Stabbed by Haley and hit by Vaarsuvius's conjured hand^934

• Takes a massive fall, and is more angry than anything^936

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Skill/Prowess

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• Defends himself against Elan's puns due to his knowledge of obscure combat techniques^762

• Claims he's defeated more powerful opponents with his with just his wits and enviornment when he was Roy's level^813

• He and his party beat another party from acquiring a valuable treasure^816

• Describes himself as the finest warrior of his generation^822

• Fights off five memberes of Order of the Stick at once, with both himself and Malack commenting that he was not fighting seriously^850-854

• Strong enough to resist Durkon's holy word^859-860

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Intelligence

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Military

• When he first arrived on the Western Continent he conquered 11 countries in 8 months, requiring an alliance of 26 other countries to drive him out. Since then he and his team members have been secretely controlling countries behind the scenes while using puppet rulers in order to be the main power on the continent with almost no one suspecting them^758

  • Most people are unable to understand explanations of Tarquin's schemes^770

• Nale describes him as a cold and ruthless general of a nigh unstoppable army^50

• When an ally is under attack, agrees to dispatch an army to add in the fight^742 only for them to then double cross her and help conquer her city, since he never specified which army he'd aid^756

Other

• Purposefully knocks Haley over a ledge to make Vaarsuvius waste a feather fall and thus their only escape plan^722

• Uses Elan's response to an idle comment to learn Vaarsuvius cannot use teleport^760

• Comes out ahead even when two gladiators manage to escape his game^785

• Knows Nale well enough to know he never left the city^819

• Communicates with Zz'dtri in drow sign languange^862

• Frames Ian Starshine for the assassination of a dignitary in order to tie up a loose end^915

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Genre Savvy

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Practical

• Realized that the existence of an evil empire for the heroes to thwart means that there's a niche he can fulfil where he can live like a king of decades, and even if he's defeated will be remembered as a legend.^763

• Realizes a party of adventurers is probably dealing with a plotline involving a threat to the entire world, and is thus willing to give them aid^762

  • After being thwarted, is still willing to provide aid to Elan because his quest most likely has the entire world (and thus his empire) at stake^912

• Gives his guards specific instructions to prevent heroes easily deceiving them^766

• Institutes programs amongst his guards to deal with shapeshifters^812

• Realizes that the group of high level PCs that arrived in his country around the same time are probably and adventuring party^817-819

• Realizes that Elan is involved in a quest involving Girard Draketooth, and that Nale knows some of the details about it^820

• Wears a hood underneath his helmet so that he can't be identified when it's removed^852

• Realizes that his allies talking openly about Malack's vampirism means that Elan's team must now know about it^882

Other

• Goes out of his way to use the "I am your father" line^723

• Never told Nale about his brother Elan just to heighten dramatic tension^724

• Installed dimmers in his castle to help with dramatic moments^751

• Understands the importance of a good dramatic pause^815

• Aware that recurring foes get progressively stronger^817

• Taught his son to say "Dun dun dun" at dramatic moments^821

• Has an army specifically for dramatic tension and ominous reveals^911

• Willing to punch a bunny to make himself look more like a villain, and have Elan's friends killed in front of him to make Elan more of a hero^916

  • Plans to kill all of Elan's friends and his girlfriend, and cut off his hand so Elan can become the hero Tarquin thinks he should be^934

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Misc

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• Burns several slaves to death just to make giant flaming laters spelling out his son's name^759

• Knowing Roy is a powerful and intelligent fighter, is entirely willing to give him a reasonable job offer^813

• Is entirely willing to talk things out with his allies and apologize for his actions (against his allies specifically)^854

• Is thrilled that Malack plans to devote the western continent to a god of death after Tarquin's death, with a thousand sacrifices a day^875

• While he's initially willing to smooth things over with his son Nale, when Nale rejects him he kills him without a moment's hesitation,^913 feeling he was never more than a B list villain that was cluttering up the narrative arc^914

• Capable of wiping out the families of soldiers who displease him^918