Trapped in a 2 year web of lies to cover up my lack of identity. People are finding out and I'm panicking

I am in a really deep, scary hole and don't know what to do. I realized I have a severe identity crisis that comes from my family dynamics. Growing up, my family used to put me on a pedestal, but the moment I "let them down" or wasn't perfect, they completely flipped and started aggressively putting me down.To survive that whiplash, my brain learned that being imperfect is dangerous. Outside of home, my friends put me on a pedestal too. Terrified of letting them down the way I let my family down, I started masking heavily and fabricating stories to maintain a "perfect, healed" image.This has been going on for two years. Now, people are starting to notice the inconsistencies and my false life is collapsing. I am terrified of the shame and the fallout. In private, I fantasy about telling someone I'm not okay, but in public, the mask goes on involuntarily. I don't have access to a therapist. How do I survive the fallout of this? How do I stop digging the hole deeper when my survival instinct is screaming at me to keep lying (I don't actually know what wrong with me all I know is looking inside I have no sense of identity whatsoever)