I guess its called limerence

I could never understand why I would feel closest to you right before you screwed me over. I never understood why my love and interest would be up right before you would purposely reveal just enough to destroy me. I loved you through everything but my infatuation with you was always highest when I felt tension in our relationship and I hate that that cycle kept happening for so long. You played me like a fucking game and I'm sure it was funny how easy I was to manipulate. I know you lied about how long things were going on I know you didn't want to shut me out completely so you only revealed enough of the truth to keep me away but on your back burner. You can say whatever you want but I know you are aware of what you have done and what you are doing. You only reveal what you want me to see and you string me along just out of reach. You gave me a child and now you have a permanent in to my heart as long as you need. I will always be seen as your back up in case things don't work out for you. I wish I was able to see this for what it is and run away but I can't. I am at your mercy and I can't believe my heart still wants us after you have betrayed me time and time again. I know I can't keep being there for you but you've got me as long as I'm not already taken by someone better.