Should I (27f) send a message to clarify after I may have given my bf 32m) (who solo travelling for 8 months) a reason to think I broke up with him?

Apologies for the length, I'll try and cut it down but I think some details are important to understand the context. Apologies for any typos I'm on my phone.

My partner of about 4 months has been travelling Asia for the last 3 months, with another 5 months to go. This trip was planned before we got together and as much as it sucked I was very supportive of him going on the trip, and the last thing I wanted to do was interfere. I don't think a person has to reshape their entire life because of their partner.

I actually gave him an out before he left, saying that if he didn't think he could manage it given a relationship as new, it was okay, I'd understand. He was very insistent that he wanted to give it a go and that we could call each other regularly.

We didn't explicitly work out a schedule or anything because I didn't need that, I don't need a communication quota filled each week, I just need to feel like I'm considered in the other person's life. Even if that meant that we didn't communicate for a few weeks if he was going to be doing something, as long as we meaningfully reconnected afterwards, I didn't really care.

Communication has been pretty up and down. I expected that given he'd be going to some pretty remote areas, but there are times when he will update his story when he hasn't replied to my messages for several days, and the entire time we've been away we've only had about 3 or 4 phone calls, the majority of which have been organised by me. He's never really told me that he would be out of reach either, so there have been times where there have been several days, at times close to a week but he's just not responded. But then we'll come back and say something like " oh sorry I was doing this hike" etc.

The last time we spoke on the phone he said he wanted more regular calls and I said that I would leave the ball in his court given he was less available than I was.

It'd been at least 3 weeks and nothing had been organised, and messages had been very sparse and usually initiated by me.

To summarise, a large part of the issue with that, his words are very reassuring, but the entire time he's been away his behaviour largely doesn't align with the enthusiasm that he tells me that he has. Aside from saying he wanted to remain in contact but not putting in much effort make phone calls happen (aside from maybe suggesting them immediately instead of giving me a heads up - there is an approximate 12 to 15 hour difference), he rarely asks questions beyond maybe a follow-up question to something I've already provided to him. I had a job interview several weeks ago and he's never asked how that's gone...

He also asked if I wanted to join him during his travel, but when I'm asked for some more concrete details to actually start planning that, he remains really vague " I'm not sure where I'll be around that time" (he does travel very loosely, but given it was his suggestion, I figured he'd be willing to provide a bit more detail to make it happen).

I'd sent a message a few weeks ago basically asking how he thought "we" were going and he said on his end he thought it was fine, but also he had been travelling so he was probably more distracted. I was probably overly conscious of appearing too overbearing and interfering with his travel. So my response was that it had felt different on my end and that I was feeling a bit disconnected. Although I appreciated it probably wasn't intentional.

He confirmed it wasn't and he suggested a phone call, which I agreed would be good. It was a couple of days later and he told me he was on a 20 hour bus and could I call now or within that time, however, I was just leaving work to go to a friend's birthday party so I didn't have time (turned out to be a big night so I needed a bit of recovery in the morning). I suppose in my head I was also a little annoyed that he only seemed to want to organise a call when he had down time and hadn't made any space for it outside of that.

The few sparse texts we had in between were kind of our usual warm friendly demeanour although I was expecting him to follow up with a call. This never happened (hitting day 32 at this point since our last call).

There were several other things that happened in a short space of time (I'd sent a few things through that went un acknowledged for several days, only getting a response after I sent another text. Although he did respond to some things I'd sent and asked a few questions, they were very reactive, and he didn't ask about anything else, even though he knows there are several big events going on in my life at the moment.).

After yet another message had gone unanswered for just over a week even though it was information he had actually requested I send, I think I snapped and I ended up sending a message that said:

" At this point I can only assume that you are no longer interested in maintaining this while you're away. If things have changed, I wish you had just communicated that to me instead of leaving me feeling confused. I wish you the best for the rest of your trip, stay safe".

At first I felt confident, but it's been 3 days since I've sent that and he hasn't replied or acknowledged it, and he posted an Instagram story the other day, although I didn't actually look at it (he's not huge on social media so it was probably just a few pictures of the mountains or whatever he was in).

I initially thought that I was clear, and I realised that I didn't specifically ask for clarification, but I suppose that was the point of me sending that message. However, I'm now overthinking it and I'm worried that he interpreted it straight up as a breakup text. It definitely sounded more final than I had intended, I think it was just the frustration in the moment.

I fully acknowledge that I probably was over cautious of interfering with his travel and was trying to play the cool girl a bit too much, subsequently, that last message was probably a lot more direct in comparison to the messages that I'd sent before.

Part of me thinks that if he cared he would ask for clarification, but he is a very independent person, and I wonder if I accidentally blindsided him and he's just withdrawn.

I'm really on the fence about whether I torture myself for the next few months over whether I accidentally broke up my relationship without intending to, or potentially expose myself to humiliation and send a clarification message....

If I did send something it would be:

"I've been thinking about my last message and wanted to clarify something. In trying not to put pressure on your travels, I think I downplayed how disconnected I was feeling, which probably made my last text come across more blunt than intended.

I wasn't trying to shut you out—I just need clarity on where we stand, as the mismatch between what’s been said and the actual effort has been hard to navigate. Whatever the answer is, I’d rather you just be honest with me. If you choose not to respond, I'll take that as my answer too."

I realised that I kind of fucked up and I'm wondering how I should handle it moving forward... Any advice would be appreciated.