AITA for asking my romantic partner to get an STD Panel Test, after my own personal health scare.

So there’s this lady I’ve been talking to for about a month. We really like each other emotionally and physically, and we’ve been planning to go on a date and have sex.

This morning, I went to the ER for testicular pain. The doctor asked about symptoms and later on, my sexual history and I told him I had protected sex with a different woman about 2 months ago. An ultrasound showed slight swelling, but they ruled out testicular torsion. The doc explained that some STD’s can cause testicular pain/swelling and ordered an STD panel.

The doctor told me that he doubts I have anything since I only have a single symptom out of about 6-7 and used protection, but wanted to test me just in case. Results should take 24 to 48 hours. I was also given antibiotics and chose to start them while waiting for the results.

When I got home, I immediately told the woman I’m seeing. I explained that although it’s unlikely I have anything, we shouldn’t have sex until my results come back. I told her I’d send her my results and, if anything came back positive, I’d complete treatment and keep her updated. I still wanted to go on our date, just without anything sexual.

She said she appreciated me telling her but didn’t want to go on the date if we couldn’t have sex, which I thought was fair. We agreed we could go out next week instead.

Later, while talking about sex, I asked if she would also be willing to get tested before we do anything. I explained that I wasn’t accusing her of having anything or judging her past. I just want both of us to know our status so we can have sex without either of us worrying, especially if we plan on dating/having sex long term.

She responded that it “wasn’t my business” and said, “I’m not the one who had an STD scare.” She said I was only being paranoid because of what happened to me. I reiterated that I wasn’t making assumptions about her, but I think it makes sense for both of us to get tested, especially because we’ve discussed having sex without condoms, which she was very interested in.

Eventually, she agreed to talk to her doctor, get an STD panel, and send me her results, just as I’m going to send her mine.

I don’t think asking was unreasonable. Someone’s sexual history or whether or not they have STD’s isn’t normally my business, but if we’re going to have sex, especially unprotected sex, our STD status affects BOTH of our health. Whatever either of us has could become a shared health risk, and with her being a nurse, I feel like she should know that more than most other people.

Maybe she was bothered because I only brought up her getting tested after my own scare, which I can understand.

So, AITA for asking the woman I’m seeing to get an STD/STI test after my own personal scare?