24 [F4M] i want to be used so bad and it’s messing with my head.

I need to talk about something that feels a little taboo. Lately, I've been obsessed with the idea of being treated like an object not in a degrading way that feels bad, but in a way where my only purpose is to be pleasure tested. There is something so disorienting but addictive about letting someone take what they want from me without asking permission first. It's like I get to switch off my brain entirely. I don't have to be the responsible one, the smart one, or the one in control; I just become this physical thing that exists to be touched and fucked. Has anyone else experienced this? That weirdly liberating feeling of being completely dehumanized for an hour? It's terrifying and the hottest thing I've ever felt.