OCD and bats man

I have read the FAQ.

This is more of a rant than anything.

Sunday morning my son informed me that he believed he had bats in his room. He said he heard the chirping sound and it sounded like it was above him/ moving around.

I search and find nothing. We put him to bed that night, and he calls out that he was hearing it again. We search and discover his window unit had two bats residing in the ventilation tube (it’s the kind of ac that sits on the floor)

We put him to bed in a different room. My husband accidentally lets the bats out. I hide in a closet until they momentarily roost and then escape. My husband battles them for a long time. He only manages to get one. The other is lost.

I seal up the room by putting a towel at the bottom of the door, as well a towel at the bottom of the door of all of our bedrooms.

It’s determined that my older son needs pep. Cool. I’m told by HHS, and the Emergency Department Doctors (as well as my sweet little cousin who’s a nurse) that because I was awake, and my husband saw the whole thing too, I do not need pep and neither does my husband.

It’s useless to test the bat because we only found the one.

Monday night after all the calls and ER visits, my younger son also says he heard “two squeaks” in his room Sunday night. I call HHS back Tuesday, they said he didn’t need pep based on suspicion of a bat, even with the one that went missing. They said obviously they couldn’t tell me not to get it, but that it wasn’t considered an exposure.

The frustrating part about ocd is how loud it is. It’s had me thinking the missing bat is crawling through the vents and coming up in each room to bite us. I also found what looked like bat poo in my hall downstairs (all this took place in an upstairs bedroom) so that set my ocd way back.

I keep thinking, “what if I didn’t give the professionals the right information? What if I left out a major detail??” And the loop continues.

I also called a pest control person who basically said, “we won’t be able to find a single bat shy better than you can. Keep the room sealed off and it’ll die in a couple of days.”

It’s just a bummer because professionals told me I’m okay. It doesn’t stop me from still feeling like this is urgent. I’m sitting with the uncertainty, and watching TikTok’s about bat encounters for ERP. All of which make it seem like even seeing a bat means you need pep.

Each day is a little better, and I know that even if I did rack up a 30,000+ bill for each of us to get pep, I’d be questioning it in the long run too. Because I’ve already had the “what if” thoughts about my son who got it.

If you read this whole thing, thank you for sitting with me. Sometimes typing it all out makes it feel a little sillier. A little more unrealistic.

Hang in there, OCD gang, we’re going to be okay 🖤✌🏻