How do I survive newborn stage

FTM to almost 3 weeks old little bundle of chaos and I'm terrified. I've read that babies are loud sleepers but had no idea how loud they are. My boy is a spitter so all the grunting, squeaking, wheezing and other weird noises he's making are keeping me up at night. I have no idea when I should let him sleep and when to pick him up. We're not good at burping so there's that and I've also just learnt about silent reflux and suspect he might be affected by that. We already have an appointment for wednesday so I'll definitely ask about that but how do I manage the nights?

Another stressful thing is dressing him up to sleep adequately to the temperature. Everyone says babies should have one more layer than parents. I sleep just in my underwear and my husband sleeps in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Optimal recommended sleeping temperature is apparently 16-20°C but I should dress him up in a 1-2 tog sleeping bag and long sleeved and long legged sleeping suit and long sleeved body? The thought of him choking on his spit or SIDS is driving me crazy (thankfully just at night) and still my midwife, mom and husband insist on covering his feet (that already are in a sleeping bag) with an additional blanket. I have no idea what to do and how I'll survive the next year.

My husband believes all is fine and will be good so no need to worry or, for that matter, we shouldn't even think about unpleasant/ potentially unsafe things.

If that's not enough we're trying to get our 2yo clingy cat back from our neighbours where she's been staying for the last 3 weeks because she totally freaked out when we came back from the hospital ( I know it's my fault for not preparing her properly). I can't imagine not having her here but I also feel incredibly guilty because it is easier when she's not here.

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting here. I guess just wanted to rant and maybe someone went through something similar and will have an encouraging story to share.