Thinking about breaking no contact or breadcrumbing as dumpee…

My ex and I are both 22 and female, she broke up with me 2 months ago and we were together around 6 years. I was anxiously attached big time and she possibly fearful avoidant. When she broke up with me she told me very sweet things like she loved me, cared for me, I was the best person, she’d always be thankful to me, and that no contact would be my boundary and she’s a phone call away. I told her this would have to be goodbye forever because I couldn’t just be her friend and it hurts too much. I regret ever saying forever. I want to be together again so badly and miss her more than anything. I just want her to know that I still love her and want her back, that I know she’s seeking out this lifestyle now but that if she ever changes her mind I would welcome her back. I don’t want her to be left with me saying we could never get back together I want her to know the truth about how I feel. She had multiple reasons for leaving but the one that was highlighted the most was that she no longer wanted a serious committed relationship and wanted to explore others, she wanted to be single, flirt, hookup, explore her sexuality. She scrubbed me from her social media and has done exactly what she said she wanted and did so almost immediately after. She’s hooked up with multiple people, goes out to bars, flirts, drinks heavily, does drugs, and is always seeking out new connections and possible hookups and crushes. I only see what she posts or likes, but for the most part it seems edgy, sad, manic, lustful, ab crushes and situationships, and or ab romanticizing unhealthy habits and mindsets. I know she’s choosing this now because it makes her feel good and feel validated quickly while numbing some of the pain. She struggles a lot with that and deeply desires to feel accepted and wanted and she has a flirty outgoing personality. We’re both young, we got together when we were 16 and have both changed a lot but she has changed the most. I understand why she wanted to leave and why things happened the way they did. I’ve examined all of it and think about everything practically daily since she left. I know it’s unhealthy. I know we have so many issues that need to be worked out if we were ever going to try again, i know I need to focus on myself and be independent and love myself. I’m working towards being better, I’ve definitely made progress in my independence but I absolutely haven’t let her go at all. I’m still obsessed with her or at least the thought of her. My question here isn’t is it healthy for us to get back together or if I should. I know it may never happen and that even if we did by some chance we might break up again, I know she chose to leave and likely won’t take me back, I know all the cons better than anyone. I still want her though, I want her to know she can come back to me. So I’ve been thinking about following her back on Pinterest because I unfollowed her after we broke up. I know it’s so dumb and means nothing, but she’ll see it and know I’m thinking about her. It might make her think there’s an opening for her if she ever wants to come back. We follow each other on instagram and none of my accounts are restricted or blocked but I don’t use it. Admittedly I secretly check her account often but she doesn’t know. So that Pinterest follow is the smallest action I can think of to take without fully breaking no contact. Breaking no contact feels impossibly daunting, but I do consider it very often. I have absolutely no clue how she would respond or react or think. I do not think it would result in what I want, I think we’ll still be apart for a while even if there is any chance of her ever coming back. But I get the urge to call or text her everyday, sometimes really really strong. I just don’t want to regret the fact that I said we couldn’t ever get back together. I regret it everyday right now. If I ever chose to break no contact and tell her how I feel, how long should I wait?? It’s been 2 months now. How soon is too soon to reach out? I know I sound pathetic, I just miss my love so much it’s unbearable.

I’m going to add below another summary that was a draft but has more info and questions…

My partner (22 f) and I (22 f) were together 6 years. She broke up with me at the end of June. It’s been almost two months since we broke up and last spoke. I’ve been losing it the whole time. I was anxiously attached to her and had centered my whole world around her, I isolated and she was the only person I ever wanted. This put a lot of pressure on her and I was so emotionally dependent on her. Unfortunately now that she’s gone I still feel similarly. I cling to anything that has anything to do with her because I can’t let go, I don’t want to yet. I still want us to be together even though logically I know we’re not and why we can’t. We’re both unhealthy, I’ve always felt we could get through things together but she ultimately did not feel the same. We both have deep traumas and a lot of issues we haven’t completely worked through, we also have been through a lot together like her cheating on me, our mental issues, her alcoholism and more. And we were together for our formative years and were each other’s firsts for a lot of things and we grew together. She left me because, according to her directly, she wanted to be single and free to explore others and meet new people and explore her sexuality. Also other issues I could get into but that was the one that was brought up the most. It happened at a time in her life where she had recently started injectable hrt estrogen instead of the pill form and was very burnt out from work and life. I thought the pressure of our relationship and my attachment style was just too much on top of all her other issues and that the strong emotions as a result of a change in hormone medication could’ve all played a part of it and with space and change we could work things out eventually but she told me no. I had begged her a lot at the end but ultimately knew I had to stop and couldn’t love her into staying with me. During our final official breakup conversation she told me so many sweet things, how she loves me and I’ll always have a place in her heart. That I was the best person and she’s so thankful to me. That no contact is my boundary but she’ll always be a phone call away. We very briefly spoke a couple days after that over text when I picked up my things but I left her last message on delivered. I told her during the breakup that it would have to be goodbye forever because I can’t just be her friend and it hurts too much. It’s been almost two months since we last spoke. It kills me a little more each day. She’s hooked up with multiple people and goes out to bars to meet new people and flirt and has carried on with her life. She’s doing exactly what she said she wanted to do. Flirt, hookup, meet new people. She told me in one of our last conversations that she thought she might regret leaving me one day but not soon and that she doesn’t want a serious relationship right now and only saw herself having a serious relationship with me. I know I shouldn’t read into that last part. And that some of things she was saying likely were just to soften the blow because she cared about me or could easily change her mind on what she said. But I keep hoping and wishing everyday that she’ll get sick of it soon and come back to me. I know I should have a shred of self respect and not pine over an addict cheater that left me to hookup with strangers and do drugs freely. But god do I miss her every single moment of every single day. There’s so much I love about her, enough to work through our issues and overlook the bad. I want her more than anything in this world and it hasn’t faded one bit. Anyways, I’m here to vent and ask opinions. I know objectively our relationship was unhealthy and there’s a lot of work to be done, but do you think she’ll ever come back to me? Her birthday is next month. Do you think I should wish her happy birthday? I feel like I shouldn’t chase or reach out because I begged her to give us another chance and all the ways I’d change and she knows how much I loved her and she wanted space and not to be my romantic partner anymore so I should respect that decision and leave her alone. But also I feel like her saying no contact was my boundary and I can reach out means that she won’t reach out to me if she ever changes her mind and if I want any chance of us reconnecting I have to take the leap and reach out first. But I was the one that was dumped so it feels pathetic and wrong but she told me no contact was my boundary and I could reach out!!! I’m so confused. Ultimately my goal is to work through my issues, be a better person, and get her back anyway possible. But I just don’t know how to go about it to increase my odds. I know I can’t make her come back, but I also don’t want to do anything that could lessen my odds of the possibility of her coming back. My friends and family don’t think we should get back together, and likely yall won’t either and I see why. But I love her and miss her more than anything else, I want to be with her. We were together from 16-22. We broke up before when I was still in highschool and got back together maybe 6 months later? I’m not entirely sure on the exact amount of time we were apart but it was months and months. She talked to a mutual friend about it and that friend encouraged us to talk again. During one of our final conversations when I said it would have to be a permanent end she said “that’s what we said last time” I told her i know and I don’t remember exactly what else but likely that this time was different. I was there for her through her gender transition and many terrible lows in her life, and she was always there for me too. It felt like a trauma bond or an addiction or both. Either way, I can’t get over her and I don’t even want to atp . I want to be with her. Is there anything I can do? Would eventually reaching out really do nothing but hurt me and my chances? I know I need to focus on myself and continue living, I’ve been trying but it’s so hard. I’ve been trying to be more independent and work through my issues and return back to passions I neglected. But ultimately I’m missing a piece of me, my love, my world.