I finally grew the courage to walk away from my abusive relationship. I was in a relationship close to a year with someone I thought I loved but every day was an uphill battle with him. I must admit I was not perfect at the start of our relationship, I was talking to several guys when I was single because I never thought this relationship would lead to anything. But little by little, I started realizing the person I am dating is extremely jealous, toxic and condescending. He has called me many things throughout our relationship because I do have a dating past as any person would but his extreme jealously would lead him to insult me calling me a slut, someone who he couldn't trust, someone who is easy and that he gets the worst version of myself. He has kicked me out from his apartment multiple times, asking me to gather my items and leave. He has kicked me out at least 5 times and I am stupid for even going back in the first place. Please don't put me down, I already know my decision to go back is stupid. I don't need to be further attacked for my own stupidity. The stuff I have been through I don't wish on anyone. I am over the arguments, the accusations, the belittling and having my self esteem shattered to keep him happy. I walked away and I don't intend to go back where I am not wanted, desired and needed. I am choosing to be alone but at peace, I don't think I'm destined to have a happy relationship and that's okay. I will need to enjoy my own company for a while. My friends are sick of hearing about how I'm being mistreated and I don't want to burden them with me cycle of abuse. 

I am a little scared that I won't have anyone to grow a bond with or love but I know in time, I will be at peace alone. I am afraid no one will love me, I am afraid to die alone. But I have to be brave and focus on my own well-being only. 

It's finally over