Narcissistic mother

Because I grew up in a narcissistic family system I went on to have narcissistic partners and friends.

My "best" friend for 20 years abused me. She skipped out on rent, broke my boyfriend and I up by implying that he was cheating then went on to date him while still sleeping with his best friend. During that time she went on a smear campaign telling everyone I was trying to steal her man.
Eventually she started dating her now husband. She wrote a nasty song about me which talked about how I tried to steal her man. He suggested she play it for me one time when I flew to visit them. Obviously she'd lied, gotten her husband to believe it. After all thats what narcissists do. She'd eventually go on to smear my name to other family members of her. Eventually her sons would confront me passive aggressivly and tell me I was a bad friend for not visiting enough.
Over time she became nastier on the phone with me. One day I started talking to her about investing, something I was excited to learn how to do. She got nasty and said that she didn't have to worry about it because she had a family but that I was all alone and had no one to take care of me. It was a final straw. I cut her off about a year and a half ago.
I finally decided to unblock her on facebook and found that she sent a note to my mother. My mother basically said "I don't know why she does that she just gets in weird moods sometimes". This was in reference to why i cut my best friend out of my life.
Reading that brought up a bunch of resentment and anger at both my ex best friend and my mother. My mother has always chosen other people over me. And this just makes it even more apparent. I am just so damn angry and hurt and dissapointed that she said that. That my own mother didn't give a crap about what I'd been through. And worse, gave the narcissistic horrid human that abused me validation.
Rather than shame spiral I decided to say how hurt and angry this makes me. I'm frustrated and I hate how unfair life it. It doesn't help my life isn't going the way I want it to, and the narcissists (all of them) are having good lives. I just don't understand why life is like this - unfair, impossible, lonely. I'm just frustrated, sad, angry, dissapointed, and maybe even feeling a little hopeless. Years of working on healing and I still don't have a healthy support system. I've got aca, but I don't have anyone close.
I also hate and love my mother.