TW mentions of SA

I (29f) have been with my partner (31m) on and off for 11 years. We had a kid together 6 years ago and have spent about half of that time not together, but the last 2 years we have been together and seemingly stronger than ever. 

Something that has been tough in our relationship is his neediness for sex. His libido is definitely higher than mine. I also suffer from PMDD and heavy, painful periods so my libido is actually non-existent for what feels like over half the month. The other half of the month, my libido usually rises quite a bit and I get all our sexy time in during that time. I try to make him happy and hope he feels satisfied but even when I give him my all, or try something new and fun, it's never enough for him. His drive is insatiable. It's gotten to the point that half the time I'm not even actually focused on my own pleasure but rather if he is happy and satisfied and if I "did enough". It's like I'm always anxious about if I'm giving him enough, or like I'm always behind on giving him what he needs.

Well it's that time of the month for me again and a couple nights ago, I was having intense stomach cramps and he was rubbing my belly while we were laying in bed. I thought he was just trying to be comforting and help me fall asleep but then it quickly turned into him groping my breasts and that irritated me so much because he knew I was in pain. I turned around and went to bed and he left me alone. The next day I brought it up and told him I really didn't appreciate that. He just laughed it off and said "yeah probably wasn't the best time to do that". He literally laughed. Then last night, I was already in bed asleep after putting our kid to bed, and he woke me up with his mouth, if you know what I mean. Out of a dead sleep. I tried to push him off me but he just kept going, and I was so tired and aroused (against my will) that I just gave up and ended up finishing because he wouldn't stop. Then I flipped over, pissed off and tried to go to bed. He wasn't having that. He kept pulling down my underwear and trying to have sex, like forcing it. I kept saying no. He kept forcing. I straight up said "are you gonna r\*pe me right now? That's what you're gonna do?" I told him it actually fills me with fear and anger when he does this and that maybe we shouldn't be together if I can't safely sleep next to you. Then he got all quiet and turned over and was sulking. We both fell asleep at some point, we didn't even fight about it.

This morning he just gave me a long hug but didn't say anything. Was that his apology?!?! For trying to r\*pe me??? Then we both went to work and haven't seen each other all day. I don't hear from him all day. Then he sends me some stupid picture of a water bottle with a crystal in it and asks if I want him to buy it for me so my water can have "good vibes or whatever" cause he knows I'm into woo woo shit lol. It's just so annoying. I told him I'm actually gonna spend the night at my mom's tonight and all he replied with was "k". 

The thing is, I feel like I have no one to vent to about this (besides on here) because every straight woman in my life is brainwashed and just thinks this is some silly little annoying thing all husbands/boyfriends do. Like ALL of them have experienced pestering, coercion and assault from their own husbands. The sentiment is just "boys will be boys". Which is why I ask... Is this just normal for women in hetero relationships? Has this happened to a majority of you all here? Wtf. I just honestly feel like I'm better (and safer) off when I'm single. 

Is this just the life of a woman in a hetero relationship?