Should I break up?

Me (19) and my boyfriend (19) recently got back together in June, we were together for a year but he broke up with me in January because his parents and friends told him a bunch of stuff and said to break up with me and he listened. He reached out to me to meetup to give me some of my stuff back and that day we realized we both really missed eachother and then got back together.

Ok so to start things off I have BPD and it is such a struggle with relationships. I tell him how small things mean a lot to me, especially a goodnight text and I have to beg him to text me goodnight. Sometimes he doesn't, he says "I fell asleep", "My phone died and was waiting for it to charge", or "I got distracted" but he always says sorry. There is other times when I ask him to call me at night and he promises me, or even says himself that he will call me. And 9 times out of 10 he doesn't because he "fell asleep". Ive talked to him so many times about goodnight texts. Another factor is that our relationship is a secret. He hides me from his parents and says that we are just friends, this whole secret thing is tearing me apart. He told me that he is risking the roof over his head for me any time I mention the fact that I hate being a secret.

But there is also so many moments where he is great to me, when it's good it is really good.

The thing that has made me question things is because a couple days ago he said he was going to be on call with his sister and friends and play games and that he would text me when he is in bed because he said he wouldn't be too long since he had stuff to do in the morning. Ok hours go by and it is now about 4 in the morning and he is still online and no texts for over 6 hours. The next morning he says sorry and that his mom got mad at him and took his phone away around 4 because he was up very late. To also add, it takes him hours to respond to me, I can't think of a time he texted me immediately after I had. I just feel like I am not being prioritized at all, I've told him that I felt like I wasn't and he says he is busy with work and barley talks to any of his friends and he talks to me more than any of them combined. I love this man to death but I am getting so exhausted with caring so much about small things, it is draining me and I'm beginning to give up asking to text me or call me anymore

I love him so dearly but I know I deserve to be loved openly and not kept a secret but I want to wait for him but if I do I feel like I am destroying myself. He is my first love and first everything and I do not want to let him go but I don't know what to do anymore.