Misgendered by voice (again) and recurring reminders that I'm still a transman, not just a man

Transman here, several years post transition- socially, legally, medically, surgically. Stealth mode everywhere unless they knew me pre-transition.

So I had a hard time with my transition going really slowly for the first few years. Like really slowly. My voice never really "dropped" like you tend to see guys boasting about when they start T and are 3 months into it. My voice had a GRADUAL and SLOW and SOFT decline in Hz over not weeks, not months, but YEARS.

I became so desperate about my voice after year 3 that I jumped into professional vocal coaching for several months. To my surprise and delight, it worked wonders! I had been a skeptic previously, but was desperate to try anything to help. After that, I can pass vocally now and reach new depths in my voice. It's great.

This being told though, when I start to slip on my vocal training practice and putting it into everyday use, I will STILL get misgendered on the phone. It happened today.

Today, almost in the same breath of a short 2 minute phone call, I was both misgendered AND correctly gendered. It started out being called "ma'am" and I felt like I was kicked in the guts, so I made sure to project my voice a little more and utilize my vocal training, and at the end of the call when I was gendered again, it was "sir" without me needing to correct the person or mention anything. Just speaking with my vocal practices in mind did the trick.

I feel good about being gendered correctly...but I also still feel bad over being painfully reminded that I still have to put a lot of focus in my voice because T just didn't drop my voice the way it did for other transmen.

I really wish I had a deep masculine voice all the time instead of only sounding masculine enough when I try for it.

It's pretty weird being referred to correctly for a long time and then suddenly being "ma'am'd" on the phone randomly by a stranger.

It feels as though being trans is just inescapable. I'm tired of transness being on my mind so frequently.

I've only been FULLY male passing for a few short years...and I wonder if there will ever be a time where I can actually forget that I'm trans and just live as the guy that I am without constant reminders that I'm a TRANSman, who was assigned female at birth.

It doesn't help that my immediate family still refers to me as "she/her" and have shown no signs of ever switching pronouns or to my (now legal) name.

I really hope to have a day come where I forget that I am trans, and where I just exist as another male in society doing normal male things, without the occasional misgendering.

I'm just tired.