terrible experience I had

tw for sexual harassment by a man 🙄

I'm a woman in college and I take the train to school. As other woman may know from experience, but some men like to stare at women who pass by them 🙄 I've had it happen to me when I was freshly 18 and excited to go thrifting, not a great feeling. I felt like an object. But I haven't had an experience like that since then, mainly because I've learned to never look at ppl passing by and just mind my business. I also happen to be a very empathetic person. I'm also very paranoid. I feed the street cats everyday not just because I like to feed them but also because I feel like if I stop something bad might happen to me the next day. I just feel very guilty over some things alright? Karma plagues my mind. So this particular day I went to school to pick up some items from my locker before summer started so they don't toss my things in the trash. As I'm exiting the final train station to walk to school, there's a man who seems to be breathing heavily after walking down some steps. He also seems to be nauseous. I was about to walk past him but I felt a tinge of sympathy and guilt that if I were to walk past him, I would feel guilty the whole day because I didn't ask him if he was okay. Some things like this happened before and I felt guilty the whole day by not helping someone. I asked and immediately regretted it. I forgot how he looked like already but I don't think I will ever forget the look he gave me and the feeling I got immediately afterwards. He stared at me without blinking like something was up, I thought he was angry at first so I walked down the stairs a bit. Then he asked me what I thought about casual sex. He tried getting my opinion on it and then asked what I thought about it between him and I. I clearly turned him down and told him I was in a hurry. It did not help my paranoia that we happened to go in the same direction for 4 minutes 😑. Did I also mention that I think he wore Meta Glasses so I spent a portion of my week paranoid I was gonna end up on the Internet? I regret ever asking if he was okay I hate that I experienced this. I hate that I get this treatment on the one day I felt like sunshines and rainbows. It just had to be the one day I felt really happy after school ended. I just wanted to help. I was going to go get myself a treat afterwards but I just felt gross and contaminated by his disgusting stare. I didn't even take the train afterwards, I just spent the money I was going to use to treat myself for a ride straight home 🫩 I think this experience just made me feel uncomfortable and disgusted by men forever. It doesn't help that I'm bisexual, I don't think I see myself getting in a relationship with a man anymore. I used to be like attracted to all and open to getting in a relationship but now I don't want a cis man romantically anymore. I genuinely hope future me marries a woman...