I'm curious about a really fucked up experience.

So, a little bit about me: I already have hallucinations and mild paranoia. I'm high-functioning, meaning that I can 99% of the time discern reality from my hallucination. This is because my most convincing hallucinations are still not real-looking, as an example, imagine seeing a black void figure of a man standing on a corner of a room, well you'd be a little scared about it the first time, but 3 years later you'd have a name for that guy and won't bother you a bit except maybe at night when you're sure you see it move but can't be completely sure. That's basically my experience.

Why I want a fucked up experience? I'm interested in the idea of having a hallucination so vivid I forget what reality is. Mostly because I'm a phylosophy nerd and am really into existencial questions and that shit. I've read about the story of the salvia user who lived a wonderful life until he found a particularly interesting lamp and came back to reality. I want that, basically.

Why would I want to fuck up my life searching for something that at most will last an optimistic 12 hours of real time and completely change my understanding of life itself for the remaining of it? Well, because I want to completely change my understanding of life itself. I really hate the reality I'm in, and that's strange coming from a guy who was spoonfed from a golden spoon all my life. The things I hate are so many that I can go on an endless rant about it for the rest of the month without really getting out of things to talk about. But, I still live my life as comfortably as anyone else, and am currently not suicidal nor depressed, just angry at life I guess.

So coming back to this idea, I'm thinking of starting with microdoses that will make me go deep into a hallucination for a few hours, I'll probably hire someone or have a friend of mine to help me not kill myself while "travelling", and will write it to a book or record my voice narrating my experience and my outcome.

Send me what would you try in my shoes and take into account that the most illegal drug I ever had was an ibuprofen that a teacher gave me in high school because I had mild headache and was being a pain in the ass.