10 days without smoking

Howdy

I'm a long time reddit user and decided to see if there was a sub reddit to quit smoking so i could share my little 10 day victory. So here i am

A short background, if you'll allow me

I was due to get married exactly one month ago. But i decided to terminate our 2 year relantionship the June 1st because, well, she decided to keep talking to her ex (which i know she liked him a lot when they were together). I decided that day i wasn't going to go through with it. No matter the money i had already spent for the cerimony. No matter family expectations. No matter i'm in my late 30s and my chances to having kids grow smaller by the day. No matter nothing. I literally said "fuck dis shit imma bail". So i did.

June 1st to late July was probably one of the worst periods i had in my life. I went from about to get married to single, my job made me relocate countries, and also my job said i had to take a certificate in 20 days or i would most likely get fired. Plus i had a bout of massive diarrhea for like 2 straight weeks. I went through the storm but not without chain smoking everyday. Literally, every day i would smoke almost a full pack of cigarettes.

I started smoking in 2010, in my first year of college. And since then i had never stopped smoking. Not even once. The maximum time i had without a smoke was around one day (usually the hangover day after a night of heavy drinking and smoking). And thats it.

And specially for this time period, given all the shit i was going through, i smoked even more than i already did.

But things did improve little by little. I managed to do a smooth relocation, was able to get the damn certificate (thanks udemy test exams), was able to cure the diarrhea (i think it was worms).

So around the afternoon of August 9th (sunday), i ran out of cigarretes. I decided i was going to buy a pack next day. By sunday morning i was pulling spent cigarretes tips from the ash tray because i needed to smoke badly. And boi, i felt a mix of angry and shame at myself

So i wake up the next day, i decided i wasn't going to buy the cigarete pack. Then the next day came, then the next, so on and so forth. And today makes it 10 days, out of 16 years, that i'm without a smoke.

I still get the urges to smoke, specially when i remember all the shit i went through with my ex. But i'm decided that i aint gonna lose not a single inch of health commiserating at my own situation, not anymore.... and which, to be honest, is not that bad. I know i went through a bad relationship. Shit happens. Such is life. I'm glad i was able to make through that shit period, which even though is recent, feels also at the same time, rather distant. Like a bad memory, something like that. i dunno.

I went to a friend this last saturday and i drank a whole lot of beer with him and his dad. I got wasted. Both he and his had are smokers. By a miracle of God, Jesus, Buda, Alah, or any high power that might be out there. Even my guardian angel... i was able to deny the first couple of offers to smoke. And they were respectful not to offer me again. IT was a fucking miracle i got wasted and didn't drink. I felt so glad the next day because i only had a beer hangover not a chain smoking one lol.

Anyways, sorry for the long text. This is a little bit of my journey to quit smoking. 10 days streak off smmoking after 16 years.

To you the reader who read all this, i wish you peace and may you find what you are seeking in this life. God bless