29[M4A] CT I fumbled a date and now I fantasize about getting cucked by her

She's 40, I knew her from work and we would talk. I actually ended up going on a date with her despite the age difference. After that date, it didn't continue on. Now she doesn't look at me when she walks by and before we would causally talk. It's pathetic but I constantly fantasize how she sees me as a loser and likely got the ick after one date