I think I may have wasted my potential and I don’t know what to do.

I was very gifted in STEM classes growing up. I loved and excelled at math, I was two years ahead most of the time before college.

One of my siblings went to a very prestigious grad school the year before I went to university. In response to that, I majored in biology and I decided that I was going to go to med school to try to one up them. I got into my target school, moved on campus and went through a major depressive episode. I failed two of my classes then I took a gap year to get myself back together. Came back to school the following year and retook the failed classes. Now here I am going into my senior year, dreading about applying to medical schools. I am tired of school and want nothing more than to start working and begin my life. I’m over all the stress of worrying about grades and having no money.

I’m so upset with myself that I chose this path based on my sibling. I feel like I completely abandoned myself. I am a pretty attractive and social guy, but instead of hanging out and going on many dates during college, I focused on ECs and studying. I am really regretting my decision and wishing I majored in something more versatile. I am terrified of graduating with a biology degree which is making me worried about how I’m going to be able to focus on my classes in this upcoming year.

I feel like I’ve betrayed myself and wasted all the gifts and opportunities I was given.