Rant

I think back to what made me stay? What did I love? I loved him more than anything well I love him when his moods were good. I loved him when he woke up happy and I did not need to walk on eggshells. When he finally heard me and loved me the way I knew he could. But he was only like that a few days a month… that’s if I was lucky. I would white knuckles it until those good times happened again because I loved him enough to wait - to push through. Only he did not really love me. Love requires patience and understanding. Love has to have accountability. A relationship is two sides and I drowned in doing all the work alone. That’s not love. Well that’s me loving him but I don’t think he was capable of loving me the way any good person deserves to be loved.