Help in not letting my job define my worth

I’ve struggled in my career as a paralegal even tho I’m a really smart person. Unfortunately, I think way too much of my self-worth is tied up with my work. Like when I’ve gotten fired it’s really traumatic and causes a lot of pain. Intellectually I know that who I am as a worker has nothing to do with who I am as a person but it’s hard feeling rejected by your employer. I long to work somewhere I’m appreciated or valued. I feel bad because my last job was at a small firm and it had kind of a family feel. The partners sometimes took us out to lunch and I don’t know. I guess that I was naive I thought they were my friend but they weren’t my friend. They fired me and it really, really hurt. It was traumatic and I am still not over it. When I was there I had a co worker. My boss adored her and praised her all the time. It made me feel bad seeing how much she was appreciated and how I was criticized in comparison.

In my head I know work is work and it has nothing to do with you as a person. I am a hard worker and always try my best. It’s painful when it’s not enough like at my last job. I don’t want my self worth to be tied up with my work but I don’t know how to stop. So much of my identity is related to work but I want to create a life outside. Any advice on how I can create some emotional boundaries and how I can build a life outside work?