Marriage and mental health

For background - Our marriage has been struggling for a while but has been really bad this past year. Partly because we have three young kids and part just putting effort into each other. I have dealt with depression for a long time but it got really bad after I had my third. I’ve been on antidepressants for over two years and it has been life changing. I’ve had a really low point the beginning of this year but adjusted my meds and started therapy.

Now the issue I’m really struggling with is that it seems like my husband really just doesn’t care what’s going on with me or really our life in general. He had pretty much no reaction when I I told him how depressed I was feeling earlier this year, if anything he distanced himself more. I am a SAHM and handle all maintenance/cleaning for the house. We’ve done fair play a few times and things will be better for a week and then go back. I’ve tried setting monthly date nights where I plan a night one month and he plans the next month - this is really just deciding on a day and place to go, I was still in charge of finding childcare - and we had to stop doing that because he claimed it was too much pressure. I’ve suggested having at home date nights and same excuse. We spend no time together and never talk. I have told him how I feel and have stated what I need very simply and maybe things change for a week then go back to how they were. The other night I told him that I feel trapped in our marriage and feel like he’s kind of taking advantage of the fact that I can’t leave - I have no job and no money to fall back on. So it doesn’t matter if he tried or not since I am stuck either way. He walked away while I was mid sentence and we haven’t really talked since. I see him put effort into other things - playing soccer, watching sports, video games, Reddit - so I know he’s capable about caring about something.

I’ve had to stop therapy because no matter how much I try to work on myself I can’t change him. I’ve suggested therapy to him and he won’t go. Couples therapy is hard because insurance doesn’t cover it and finding the time to go with young kids is very challenging. I feel so unhappy and incredibly lonely. Not sure what kind of advice I’m looking for…maybe just someone to tell me I’m over emotional and to suck it up. Has anyone been through this and had their partner understand and start trying more?