I(22M) have questions about how to properly be there for my partner(22F)

We have been talking for about a year, properly together since July. Her and I have amazing communication and I would like to bring a few things up with her so that we can work through them together. She does have a lot of unresolved trauma, I will be leaving all details out of this post out of respect for her but a great deal of her trauma is sexual.

The handful of times we have tried to have sex, things never go smoothly and something ends up happening that we both end up feeling kind of bleh about afterwards. Never really satisfied or excited once we finish, not upset just not feeling great.

After the last time we had sex, we had some drinks and she opened up about how having sex makes her feel physically like garbage for the next week or so but she mentioned it was something normal that every woman deals with. She mentioned hormones being thrown off and just feeling generally gross afterwards.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A WOMAN (if any kind women could explain how correct or incorrect her statement is that would be amazing thank you)

After we had that conversation we went to bed. I woke up early and headed to work after saying goodbye but what she told me just didn’t sit quite right especially considering the horrible things she has been through. I considered a few other things, sometimes she really does not want to be touched but she knows I will respect that when she feels that way.

Also, there is no easy way to say this without being graphic but I’ll do my best. Penetration is physically very difficult. I’ve only had sex with two other people so I don’t have a ton of experience but sometimes penetration just isn’t possible and I have never experienced that with anyone. That isn’t normal right? I haven’t even mentioned it but she seems to think it is, even walked me through how to get things started the first time we tried but it takes like 10 minutes to get started. I’ve let her know before multiple times that I can’t enjoy it if she doesn’t, which I do genuinely mean. So I would hope she wouldn’t put herself through that thinking I want it.

I think she has difficulty trusting men, understandably so. But she brings out something in me that I always wished I could be but never thought I would be capable of. She has every quality in a woman that I’ve had in mind for years before I met her. She sets healthy boundaries and gives me a place I can speak about what I’m feeling. She recognizes my stress and the hard work I do to stay afloat. She lights up when she sees me and I can tell I actually mean as much to her as she does to me, which I’ve never felt with someone before. I am perfectly happy putting sex aside for however long it takes to help her heal properly.

After I sent her that message it was kind of like a switch flipped for her. We became a lot closer, we haven’t had sex since then but we have hung out. She looks at me differently now, speaks to me differently. In a good way of course. I just know I’m bearing a very big responsibility here being trusted by her and I want to make sure I do this correctly. For my own sake and for her.

So how can I be here for her? She is very open with me about everything, so I know bringing up this conversation won’t be difficult. But what should I mention we should look into? I want to support her as much or as little as she needs me to, she’s been very independent her entire life but I’m starting to see her trusting me more to support her the closer we get.