The Life I Wish I Had

“Jason..why are you resisting? You should know how insignificant you are to others..no one will bother finding you.”

No..not again.

Please someone help me.

I beg of you. Please!

I’ll tell you what I can remember. 

So, please..stay and hear me out.

Please..only you can save me. 

I had a friend named Edam, he and I were friends for as long as I can remember.

He was like a brother to me.

We hang out a lot..but lately, I feel that we’ve been hanging out way too much.

He had the life I wanted: a loving, supportive and wealthy family, many friends and is someone people can rely on.

Well, I used to have friends..until someone began spreading rumours about me inappropriately approaching a girl I was once close to during elementary school.

I tried to disprove the rumor but it went down the drain when the girl, Julie - my best friend - publicly went against me. 

All my words and claims were thrown out of the window just like that because of that, no one believed me.

After the incident, my friends abandoned me and my relationship with my parents became estranged.

This rumour continued on to high school, where we’re at now.

When all my friends left, only Edam stood by my side.

I still remembered the words he said on the day I broke down.

“You’ve got me. You’ve got me.”

Those words sounded like a guardian's words at that time.

Since then, he is the only one I can really confide in. He knows everything about me.

Soon, rumours about Edam being a manipulative person began surfacing.

I ignored it at first but ultimately, I lashed out at a group who tried to tear down my “hero”.

Edam caught wind of it and stopped it before the situation got worse.

“I don’t care what you guys say about me, but don’t hurt my friend!”, Edam shouted at the group.

Hearing him defend me and calling me his “friend” made me genuinely happy.

Somehow, that had also changed the other students’ view of Edam and that rumour soon died down.

However, one day Edam invited me to his house to hang out. 

It wasn’t out of the ordinary. So I went.

“I’m going to take some drinks for us first.”, Edam said before leaving the room. 

I decided to look around his room, particularly his desk as this time there was a half-open drawer.

Inside the drawer was only a green book.

I opened the book to see that it was a diary. 

3/29/2001

I saw a video where they taught a fish to coexist with their prey by putting a glass between it and the prey. 

It just keeps swimming into the glass and when the glass was removed, it learnt to coexist with its food. 

These videos have been coming out so often..and I kind of like it. 

Makes me want to try an experiment. 

Who shall it be?

“Experiment? What?”, I thought to myself. 

I turned to another page.

I froze.

4/12/2001

I think my plan has worked. Julie has completely abandoned him. Seems like false accusations work well.

Now, I know the power of bribing. 

But I wonder how long he will last. 

I wonder if he is as tenacious as that fish.

I kept flipping pages.

1/1/2010

He might just be stronger than that fish.

Now we’re in high school and he hasn’t found out.

I’m going to spread it again. 

I wonder what kind of results I’ll be getting.

The experiment can’t end. 

No matter what. 

10/2/2010

The rumours about me went well.

As expected, he confronted them. 

By protecting him, others would change their views of me.

This would also be beneficial to him.

Seems like the experiment is going well. 

I wonder how he’d react if I let him find out.

I began to shake. Cold sweat began forming.

“For years…I trusted you.”, I muttered in disbelief.

I heard creaking coming from the stairs and quickly put the book in the drawer.

Edam came into the room.

“Bro, I think Imma head home first, something popped up.”, I said nervously.

“Sure, alright”, Edam said. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. 

I quickly left.

My sadness turned into anger and hatred.

Everything that happened in my life was all because of him. 

I began planning for revenge, even if it meant pulling me down with him.

When everything was set in place, I texted Edam.

“Bro, wanna hang out at your place again? Got some stuff I wanna tell you”

“Sure, just come by whenever you want.”, Edam replied.

In my bag was a knife, one that should help me end this suffering once and for all.

Once I was in his room, he had already prepared two cups of water on his table.

To act normal, I took one of the cups and drank it.

Suddenly, I felt giddy and lost my balance.

“You’d think I didn’t know what you planned to do to me? You think you have control over your life? Everything that happened was part of my experiment and it won’t end until I say so.” Edam said.

“Why..are you doing this to me? I have never even hurt you!”, I shouted with what remains of my strength.

“Because..you’re the perfect test subject to see how far a person can fall.” Edam said right before I blacked out.

This is all I can remember.

Right now..Edam has kept me in his basement. 

Please..I beg of you again.

Save me…before he comes back.