“Making babies” with an older acquaintance [F 27 Indian]

This happened last year, but I still think about it often. I used to hook up with this acquaintance of mine every now and then. I had met him through my work and we had instant chemistry. He's white, in his late 40s, married but separated, and older than me by almost 20 years, and god, it showed in our dynamic. Every time we were together, it was incredible... no protection, just skin pressed to skin, sweat slicking us together.

And when I wasn’t ovulating, I’d let him cum inside me. It was always a bit of a gamble, but it turned me on a lot. He’d look at me deliberate, and ask, “Can I cum inside?” And his tone would make me wanna say yes before I even had a thought, but I’d usually just hesitate for a second, feeling his weight on me, before saying “Yeah, it’s fine.”

If it wasn’t the right time, though, I’d whisper, “You can cum inside, but we might make a baby.” There was something dirty about saying it, but it made everything feel better and more real. Just the thought of us creating something together, of me being that vulnerable to him, turned me on in a way I couldn’t quite explain. It was reckless but so thrilling.

Eventually, he asked me to say "no" when it wasn’t safe, and to save the baby talk for when it was. I agreed, but god, it felt even more intense when we got to that point. The idea of “making babies” with him? Fuckkk, it was dirty in the best way possible. There was a part of me that loved the idea of being filled with him, of him releasing everything inside me like we were creating something permanent. And everytime he would nut so hard inside me, and I’d feel his release flooding me... it felt like we were both losing control in the best way possible.