I'm forced to choose between my parents or my partner all the time, and don't feel safe ever coming out (22). Your obsession with genitalia is tearing me from you.

​

tw: transphobia

I was in a relationship with high school friend turned girlfriend at 16. She is MtF. I was worried about my parents reactions, so I hid it. At 20, we broke up, because she felt I was embarrassed by her for not telling my parents.

At 21, I had another serious relationship for 2 months. I told myself I would be better this time, and said I was in a relationship with X from Y University. They found her socials, saw her pictures, and I got very intrusive comments about my partner choice, sex life, and identity. I was hopeful that her being MtF wouldn't matter. I didn't even get the chance to do it on my terms. We broke up after I got depressed & isolated, following some comments regarding her 'not being a real girl', that I was 'confused', and just needed to try dating 'people not posers.'

I'm 22 now and I've just started a relationship with a cis woman. I wanted to share how well its been going, how happy I am after a really tough period. I chose not to disclose her name or identity - I didn't want to bring any credibility to prior experiences. If they don't approve of trans partners, they would never approve of me. I had to see change.

And so, they immediately assumed she was also trans. She stayed at my place for a few days, I shared this and received the following texts:

'Can you not keep saying 'she' unless they have a woman's bits. Xx'

'Oh. Rather quick to have a stranger over.'

'Pleased it went well.'

I feel awful being angry at my mom - the person who raised me and wants the best for me. But I love the people I'm with. They make me so happy. I hate being born the way I am and want to change. Being that version of me makes me happy.

Yet you see these things and tear them down? And for what? Because they have a different piece in their pants? Why does that bother you? How does that change anything?

I am happy. You make me unhappy. I cannot confront you or tell you these things. That makes me choose between my partners & you. And I do not know what to do. I feel like I'm going insane.