I'm not the prettiest girl in the room and I made peace with that a while ago and then I made it work for me. [F18]

Okay so this is going to sound like a sad story at the start and I promise it is not a sad story, it is actually the opposite of a sad story, bear with me 😭

I'm not cute in the conventional way. Like I know what I am and what I'm not and for a long time that bothered me a lot more than it does now, but somewhere along the way I stopped being upset about it and started being practical about it instead, which is the most useful thing I've ever done for myself.

Here's what not being the prettiest girl in the room actually gets you, guys are genuinely your friends, like actually your friends, not trying to sleep with you friends, they tell you real things and include you in real ways and you get to actually know them as people which is something a lot of girls never get, and I love that about my life, I love my guy friends and they love me back and it's real.

And then I added one thing to the arrangement and it got even better lol.

I love sucking cock. Not as a means to an end, not as a stepping stone to something else, just cock in my mouth specifically, as the thing, as the whole point. I'm talking sloppy, wet, dripping down my chin, deepthroat until my eyes water and my mascara is running and I have to come up gasping, and I am good at it in the way that only comes from genuinely loving it, and at some point I decided this was going to be part of how I show up for the guys in my life who I actually care about.

So now they know. Not in a formal announced way, just in the way things become understood over time. When we hang out I'm going to get on my knees at some point during the evening and get their cock in my mouth and they don't have to ask or bring it up, it's just going to happen, because I like doing it and they clearly don't object lol. They can text ahead if they want which some of them do and I find very funny and also very efficient.

I deepthroat every time, sloppy and wet, spit everywhere, I don't make it neat because neat is not the point. I swallow every load without making it a whole thing, I let them grab my hair and fuck my throat until I'm gagging and drooling and tearing up and I stay down because I want to and because the sounds they make when I do are something I genuinely get wet from, like embarrassingly wet, which probably tells you everything about how much I actually enjoy this. I have opinions about technique and I apply them and the results speak for themselves.

Here's the part I didn't expect though, the part that actually makes this the opposite of a sad story, they look out for me in return in ways that go so far beyond what I ever expected. One of them found out I had a thing for his roommate and spent three weeks actively engineering a situation where we could spend time together and it worked and I felt like more than I deserved from a person lol. Another one is my emergency contact. Another one drove four hours to help me move without being asked. They talk about me to other guys as someone worth knowing and I have met people through them that have changed my actual life.

None of my girlfriends know about the arrangement. I don't have that many anyway and it's not their business. What I have is a group of guys who are my people, who I take care of in a specific sloppy wet way I enjoy and that costs me nothing, and who take care of me back in every way that matters.

It's a good life.