Bluetooth problems

I have a 17 Pro, so the age of the phone isn’t related to the issue.
The problem I have is software I believe. I can’t connect to my AirPods probably 2/3 of the time. It will show them connected and not produce music. The only work around is forgetting and repairing the AirPods, or doing a hard restart on the phone. Sometimes both.
And the issues persists with CarPlay too. Restarting the screen in the car doesn’t resolve it, and my wife’s phone doesn’t have any issues, just mine, and again. A reset is required for it to work.
I don’t know what bug it could be or if there is any way to fix it, but everything I’ve seen doesn’t resolve this issue and don’t know if I’m the only one dealing with this because it makes something that should be more convenient, considerably more cumbersome to use. It’s more convenient to find my wired headphones and use those now.