I (30F) caught my bf (32M) in a lie about sleeping arrangements w/ female friend (30F). How to move forward?

Hi, all

Quick resume:

My bf had a vacation planned with his female best friend, just the 2 of them. I understood that he planned it before we started dating but nevertheless I was super anxious about it and we fought during the trip, especially because they were sharing bed in some rooms.

I understood that it was a long backpacking type of trip, not easy to control, but we decided it would be best to not share rooms in the future.

Moving forward, this friend asked to sleep in my bf house last week, since she had an early flight and her house it super far away from the airport (not even in the city). I thought this is normal, as they are truly huge friends, he knows her family, and she doesn’t behave in a shady way, she is super relaxed.
I didn’t ask where she slept that night, since he has a second room and it was obvious to me he would manage it, didn’t want to be controlling ot micromanaging.

The next time I was with my bf (the next day), he told me a storyline about the later night, in detail. He told me that she fell asleep in the sofa and that she went upstairs, to the second room in the house, to sleep. Mind you, I didn’t ask anything about the sleep dynamic. Then I asked if she slept well, since there is some noise in that room (there is a problem in the window), he told me she did with other non asked details (like she was really tired etc, in the morning she took a shower but he didn’t even notice). I had a gut feeling about this extra explanation, so I tried to find the lie. I checked with him the last time the cleaning lady was there, and he told me it was on Thursday. She slept there on Sunday. By Wednesday, he had sheets and pillow covers from his bed in the washing basket. Why would he wash his sheets if the cleaning lady was there 3 days ago and also, we were traveling in the weekend and only arrived Sunday? Also, the bedding in the second bedroom was clean and the same as always.

Obviously he lied to me, explicitly lied, since I didn’t ask anything. I understand he may thought I would be pissed so he made sure to lie, but I would prefer honesty. I am crushed.

Just writing this I feel sick about how wrong this is and a breach of trust.

Is this salvageable? Looking for your opinions.

Thank you,
Have a great day :)

Posted Aug 27, 2026, 1:05 PM UTC

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